why is there no word, like widow, to describe a mother who has lost a child?
--Marly Swick, A Hole in the Language
marvelous as a new word, my daughter
almost asleep at the breast, her hair curled
over her ear, her soft jaw swirled
with down. Oh, her last fluttering tugs
go deep. Her sleep-flushed cheek,
her upturned ear. For her, I've learned
to name its parts: helix crest,
oval window.
"Finally, the problems that you as a bereaved parent have in getting social support from others can intensify your difficulties. While society values the parent-child relationship above all others, it does little to assist you as breaved parents. There is not even a word to identify you, such as the term orphan for a child who has lost its parents or the term widow or widower for one who loses a spouse.
There are greater social problems in responding to the death of a child than to other deaths. This is because as a bereaved parent you represent the very worst fears of every parent. If it happened to your child, then it could happen to my child. As a result, bereaved parents are avoided more than most other mourners and are victims of social ostracism and unrealistic expectations. This is why so many report that they feel like social lepers.
How to Go On Living When Somone You Love Dies.
Therese A. Rando, Ph.D.